The episode delves into Tessa Wilson’s personal and professional journey, illuminating her path from an aspiring athlete to a mental health advocate. As she shares her experiences of growing up in Saskatchewan and playing hockey in a predominantly male environment, listeners gain insight into the resilience and determination that shaped her career. Tessa articulates the pressures athletes face, particularly the rising incidence of mental health issues among younger players, exacerbated by societal expectations and the competitive nature of sports. Her commitment to fostering an open dialogue about mental health within the athletic community is a clarion call for change, emphasizing the importance of normalizing conversations around mental well-being and providing essential resources for athletes who may feel isolated in their struggles.
Bio
Tessa Wilson MACP – RCC
Building a trusting connection is essential when working in vulnerable spaces. She knows how important it is to first see if we’re a good fit. Sport can deeply shape who we are, and through her own experiences, she has come to understand its powerful impact on identity, meaning, and purpose.
Tessa grew up in a small Saskatchewan town, often playing on boys’ hockey teams due to limited opportunities for girls. Eventually, she joined a female AAA team and moved to Weyburn in high school to pursue elite hockey. That transition was challenging but rewarding—and in her final year, she was fortunate to win the National U18 Esso Cup.
Tessa went on to play for the University of Regina Cougars, where she faced new pressures: concussions, identity struggles, and uncertainty about my role on the team. After two years, Tessa transferred to SAIT in Calgary, playing for the Trojans before another concussion led her to step away from the game. Letting go of hockey was incredibly hard. For the first time, she had to navigate life without the title of “athlete.”
That journey, though difficult, helped shape my path. Tessa earned a degree in Sports and Recreation Studies and began working as a Recreation Therapist in Vernon, BC. Eventually, she pursued a Master’s in Counselling Psychology to support others more deeply.
Today, Tessa works with athletes navigating their own challenges and transitions. She believes in the value of professional support and how it can change the course of an athlete’s journey—for the better.
Links
https://unmaskedperformance.janeapp.com/#/staff_member/1/bio
Takeaways:
- Tessa Wilson’s journey illustrates the significance of professional support in navigating athletic challenges and transitions.
- The podcast emphasizes the importance of addressing mental health issues within the sports community, particularly for young athletes.
- An essential takeaway is how parental involvement can impact an athlete’s mental well-being during their journey in sports.
- Listeners learn about the detrimental effects of perfectionism and pressure on young athletes, which can lead to burnout.
- The discussion highlights the necessity for open conversations about mental health in sports, combating the stigma surrounding it.
- Tessa’s experience showcases the vital role of self-awareness in fostering resilience and performance in athletes.
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- CV3 Hockey Development
- High Stick Hockey
- Play It Again Sports Newark
- Unmasked
This episode is proudly sponsored by
High Stick Hockey
Your go-to source for premium hockey apparel
Whether you’re repping it on the ice or off, High Stick Hockey has the gear that delivers
style, comfort, and durability. From the locker room to the streets, this is hockey lifestyle done right.
And right now, podcast listeners can score 20% off your purchase at
just use the special code CV3SAVE20 at checkout!
Trust us, you won’t be disappointed with the quality. It’s gear that’s as tough and true as the
game itself.
High Stick Hockey
Born from the rink. Built for the game.
Play It Again Sports Newark
When the ice calls, you answer. But to answer, you need the right gear. Play
It Again Sports Newark has everything you need to take your game to the
next level. From quality used gear at a great price to get you started, to top
of the line new products for your semi-pro tournament season, Play It Again
Sports Newark has you covered. Expert advice, custom fittings, gear that
works as hard as you do, not to mention on demand skate sharpening
services, their team will make sure you have what you need to dominate the
ice. Plus, save even more when you sell them the gear you no longer need.
We all know hockey is expensive, so buy more while paying less at Play It
Again Sports Newark.
Tell them you heard it from us and get an extra 15% off with code EDGE15
For more Sharpening Your Edge episodes, go to https://cv3hockeydevelopment.com/podcast/
Transcript
This is Sharpening youg Edge with Chuck and Eric.
Speaker A:Our guest today is Tessa Wilson.
Speaker A:She grew up in a small Saskatchewan town, often playing on boys hockey teams due to limited opportunities for girls.
Speaker A:Today she worked with athletes navigating their own challenges and transitions.
Speaker A:She believes in the value of professional support and how it can change the course of the athlete's journey for the better.
Speaker A:And now our interview with Tessa Wilson.
Speaker A:Welcome to episode one of Sharpening youg Edge, presented by CV3 Hockey Development.
Speaker A:I'm Chuck Verdolino along with my co host Eric Melanson.
Speaker A:And it's been a long time coming and I'm extremely excited to get this podcast off the ground and I think Eric feels the same way.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's something we've talked about for quite some time.
Speaker B:And Tessa, I'm glad you are our first guest.
Speaker B:I think it's gonna be great.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So we'd like to welcome from the Great White north, mental health clinical counselor for five plus years, Tessa Wilson.
Speaker A:Tessa, welcome to the show.
Speaker C:Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker C:I'm super excited.
Speaker A:No problem.
Speaker A:So you grew up in Canada and it might be a myth down here in the States, but, but it seems like when babies come out of the womb, the doctor's ready to strap the skates on them.
Speaker A:So obviously you were introduced to the game early.
Speaker A:So how were you introduced to the game of hockey and how did you fall in love with it?
Speaker C:n Saskatchewan, like probably:Speaker C:So my brother was.
Speaker C:I'm like two years younger than my brother and he was put into hockey.
Speaker C:And I think I was just such a wild child.
Speaker C:My mom was like, I'm not chasing you around the rink here, also going in hockey.
Speaker C:So I started playing hockey when I was naturally from Saskatchewan, three years old and yeah, I guess that the rest of that is history.
Speaker C:And then throughout that, it was just what I knew, what I did, who I was kind of thing.
Speaker C:And my dad played, my brother played, and then my little cousins played and the whole community really played.
Speaker C:So that's kind of what led me to playing it.
Speaker C:And just like a natural passion, I guess, for it because everyone was awesome.
Speaker B:I get.
Speaker B:So we've got your bio, but.
Speaker B:And I'm sure you're well aware that between the US and Canada, there are a billion different levels of, of hockey.
Speaker B:You know, right now there's like five year olds trying to play full ice triple A hockey here in the States.
Speaker B:And you know, Minnesota does things differently, Massachusetts does things differently, but you know, Canada can you talk to us a little bit about what kind of level you played at growing up when you made the transition from, you know, just a rec.
Speaker B:You know, a local Saskatchewan league, and then trying to play, you know, at the higher levels and on into college?
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:So I grew up playing boys hockey because there is no female hockey available.
Speaker C:So I think I played boys until, like, Bantam.
Speaker C:And then we composed a female team, which it would all be house hockey here, we would call it.
Speaker C:And this female team was composed of, like, 10 different towns, basically just pulling girls from wherever we could.
Speaker C:And I'm really grateful for that because that female league we played all across Saskatchewan, and that allowed for me to become recognized by what we call AAA hockey here.
Speaker C:And that was still in high school.
Speaker C:So I ended up moving to Weyburn to play aaa in grade 11, and that was really cool.
Speaker C:In Saskatchewan, we have the nationals, I guess, for the AAA level all across Canada.
Speaker C:And my grade 12 year reaction ended up winning nationals, which was, like, amazing.
Speaker C:And then from there, I ended up going and playing U sport in Regina, Saskatchewan.
Speaker C:Stay close to home.
Speaker C:And then, so U Sport, I guess, would be like Canada's Div 1.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:So there's universities across all of Canada, and that's what I played.
Speaker C:And then I ended up transitioning from there to go and play in the AC AC League.
Speaker C:And that is college hockey.
Speaker C:So kind of like Div 3 in Canada.
Speaker B:Now, when you moved it in Grade 11, was that with your family or did you just kind of go off and billet with another family?
Speaker C:Yeah, I billeted with a very special lady who is still in my life today.
Speaker C:So I'm really grateful for that.
Speaker C:And I lived with a couple girls off the hockey team also.
Speaker C:So that was also a big transition because I only had an older brother.
Speaker B:I can imagine.
Speaker B:And given that this.
Speaker B:Your background is in mental health, and this is, you know, what we're kind of focused on in the episode today.
Speaker B:Did that impact your mental health at all, looking back on it?
Speaker B:Or maybe.
Speaker B:Maybe you didn't realize it at the time.
Speaker C:I remember my first year was so hard living away from my parents.
Speaker C:I'm really close with my parents, so that was a huge challenge for.
Speaker C:For me.
Speaker C:But luckily, the Billet family I was with was, like, so great.
Speaker C:Obviously I said, I'm still friends with her today.
Speaker C:But, yeah, like, the transition to how intense the schedule was, even, like, you're on the ice five days a week, you're doing your workouts two to three times a week, then you're playing every weekend and being able to come home was so limited.
Speaker C:So that part I really struggled with.
Speaker C:And then it wasn't until probably like halfway throughout the season it was like, hey, I'm getting into my routine.
Speaker C:And I also was a top player both years.
Speaker C:So it was just.
Speaker C:It wasn't.
Speaker C:That part of hockey wasn't hard for me, which was really nice.
Speaker C:It was living away from my parents that was harder.
Speaker B:Yeah, I can imagine.
Speaker A:So you mentioned your billet family being almost like a crutch of support for you.
Speaker A:Before we get to that, can you shed some light on any specific adversity you faced while playing?
Speaker A:We all know it's not a smooth transition while playing.
Speaker A:We hit speed bumps along the way.
Speaker A:We all do.
Speaker A:And how did you try to navigate that and navigate around these challenges and ultimately how did that lead you to that mental health field that you're in today?
Speaker C:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker C:So when I was transitioning to play university, it was such a weird thing.
Speaker C:Like the recruitment process when I was playing, it's so different now.
Speaker C:But we never really had that support.
Speaker C:And I found it was almost like a taboo thing that you didn't talk about with your teammates, like almost like a weird competition thing.
Speaker C:So that was really hard for me and I just felt really uncomfortable during the whole thing.
Speaker C:And then I ended up actually committing to a team in Calgary, like in the college league.
Speaker C:But I got offered a redshirt spot with the University of Regina.
Speaker C:And I just like had it in my head that I was like, I'm going to train so hard this summer and I'm going to go in and get a spot on the team.
Speaker C:And that wasn't what.
Speaker C:What happened.
Speaker C:I ended up becoming red shirted.
Speaker C:And then about halfway through that season we had so many injuries.
Speaker C:I got pulled off redshirt and was playing, which was great, but I was like fourth line.
Speaker C:And for me that was a huge challenge because I came from a team where I was top line, eyes on, power plate, penalty kill.
Speaker C:So.
Speaker C:So that was a big adversity for me and I didn't know really how to communicate with my coach.
Speaker C:My mindset was pretty crappy, but I got through that year.
Speaker C:And then I was like, kink, second year has to be better.
Speaker C:So I stayed in Regina that season.
Speaker C:I really committed to working out hockey.
Speaker C:I did like a ton of power skating camps, stuff like that, and I came in.
Speaker C:We went to Sweden that year before our season started, which was really cool.
Speaker C:We got to play a bunch of teams there and I was on Like a good line.
Speaker C:And I was like, oh, this is great.
Speaker C:This year's going to be different.
Speaker C:And then our season opener came around and I was being healthy and that was really hard for me to understand.
Speaker C:I mean, I was like, I put in all this work, like off ice, I've really improved.
Speaker C:On ice, I've really improved.
Speaker C:And whenever I went and talked to my coach, all I could do was cry.
Speaker C:I couldn't even communicate with her.
Speaker C:So that was such a challenge for me.
Speaker C:And then within that, it kind of snowballed.
Speaker C:I wasn't being a good teammate.
Speaker C:I felt really isolated and alone.
Speaker C:There wasn't very many of us being healthy.
Speaker C:So that was really hard for me.
Speaker C:And throughout that, I just never learned to deal with it.
Speaker C:I just didn't have the tools to know how to navigate that.
Speaker C:And I never knew that there was external support that could have supported me through that.
Speaker C:So that is what led me to what I do now.
Speaker C:I really wanted to provide support to athletes.
Speaker C:I know it's such a underserved population for mental health support and I just want athletes to know that they're not alone.
Speaker C:And it can be really scary and isolating when you are because your whole identity is formed around being a hockey player.
Speaker C:So once I was done and burnt, I like burnt out from sport.
Speaker C:I had tons of concussions.
Speaker C:I just, yeah, I ended up quitting and walking away.
Speaker C:And that transition was so hard for me too.
Speaker C:So even that piece, I just want athletes to know that, like, they don't have to go through all that alone and there's someone there for them and there's tools that can help you manage the stressors with being a high performance athlete.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's great.
Speaker B:I think, you know, one of the words that you used a little bit ago was taboo.
Speaker B:And I think, you know, I've got a military background as well as hockey and it's, it's eerily similar as how much, at least we used to not speak about mental health.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Both military and hockey players.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:It's a pretty tough community.
Speaker B:No one wants to kind of admit that weakness and they want to battle through everything.
Speaker B:And I'm glad to see that you recognize that.
Speaker B:And yeah, kudos to you.
Speaker B:So, I mean, it's great.
Speaker B:I think that what you're doing now is amazing.
Speaker B:And then, you know, as you transition from player to getting into this mental health field, what did that transition look like in terms of getting some experience, some reps?
Speaker B:Where did you jump into first in the mental health field?
Speaker B:Did you go Right into athletics.
Speaker B:Talk to us a little bit about that.
Speaker C:Yeah, I worked a lot with Youth at Risk, actually, so it had really nothing to do with athletics at first.
Speaker C:I just was like, I really wanted to get mental health experience and I honestly love working with kids.
Speaker C:So that's where I started.
Speaker C:And I kind of started doing that even during my undergrad, I guess, just working at like non for profits with kids who weren't able to afford or play sports.
Speaker C:So we provided equipment and leagues for them to play in.
Speaker C:So that's kind of where it all started.
Speaker C:And I really recognized that that was the pathway I wanted to go through that.
Speaker C:And then I ended up moving to BC and I worked in housing for youth with multiple diagnoses and that was also really great experience.
Speaker C:And then I worked in a school with Youth at Risk and we would go hiking with them, we'd go mountain biking, we'd go skiing, we'd go kayaking.
Speaker C:We do all these fun activities with the kids, which also provided me with a ton of great experience.
Speaker C:But I just knew that the route I wanted to go was working with athletes as I knew that, like I said, it's an underserved population.
Speaker C:So I ended up just going for it.
Speaker C:Honestly, I was like, I'm just going to go for it.
Speaker C:And I guess here I am today.
Speaker B:I mean, I think that's great.
Speaker B:A lot of parallels in the, you know, the youth at risk population because again, you know, I grew up in a tough town where we didn't talk about that stuff.
Speaker B:There were a lot of at risk youth and nobody talked about mental health.
Speaker B:Do you feel like that transition was easy having that background, working with the youth at risk and youth in general to be able to move into a sport like hockey?
Speaker C:Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker C:I found like that equipped me with a lot of skills and knowledge on mental health for me to move forward in working in the field.
Speaker C:I guess I chose to work in and I think too like, my own experience as an athlete allows for me to relate to who I my athletes I work with.
Speaker C:Like, I know I can be so uncomfortable talking to someone about mental health and our deepest, darkest secrets.
Speaker C:It's really awkward and it's hard.
Speaker C:And I really find because I have that experience, it's so much easier to make my clients feel more comfortable.
Speaker C:And I mean, you just connect when you can relate.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I think that's great.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And credit to you for giving back, just going through all of that.
Speaker A:And I bet it helps too when, when you sit down with a client too, to have the firsthand experience to.
Speaker A:To know what they're going through and help them in that way as well.
Speaker A:So you started your own business.
Speaker A:You started Unmasked Performance.
Speaker A:There's always a story behind a name.
Speaker A:So how'd you come up with the name Unmasked Performance?
Speaker C:Yeah, I have this really great.
Speaker C:As a counselor, it's important for you to have a clinical supervisor who you're able to bounce ideas off of with clients if you're stuck or whatnot.
Speaker C:And I have this really great supervisor who's more like a mentor and a friend, actually.
Speaker C:And he really supported me in growing my business and believing in myself.
Speaker C:And I find found throughout my experience in university playing hockey, my confidence really plummeted.
Speaker C:And it was just so great to work with this guy because he really supports me and believes in me.
Speaker C:And it allowed for myself to build confidence within myself of starting my business because, I mean, there's so much that comes, feelings that come up with starting your own business after you've been through experiences in your life.
Speaker C:I guess I knew as an athlete I would almost hide behind my mask.
Speaker C:We have this perceived ideas that we have to be mentally tough and we're able to navigate and get through any challenges.
Speaker C:So when we unmask ourselves, I think it's really important for us to be able to dive into our vulnerabilities and be able to be not only an athlete, but, but who are we outside of being an athlete?
Speaker C:And I think that's kind of where I really wanted the direction of my business to go.
Speaker C:And the name obviously really fit with that.
Speaker A:And now let's take a quick break to hear from our partners.
Speaker A:This episode is proudly sponsored by High Stick Hockey, your go to source for premium hockey apparel.
Speaker A:Whether you're repping it on the ice or off, High Stick Hockey has the gear that delivers style, comfort and durability.
Speaker A:From the locker room to the streets, this is hockey lifestyle done right.
Speaker A:And now podcast listeners can score 20% off your purchase at www.HighStickHockey co. That's www.HighStickHockey.co and you can use the special code CV3SAVE20 at checkout.
Speaker A:Again, that's CV3SAVE20@ checkout.
Speaker A:Trust us, you won't be disappointed with the quality.
Speaker A:It's gear that's as tough and true as the game itself.
Speaker A:High Stick hockey.
Speaker A:Born from the rink built for the game.
Speaker B:When the ice calls, you answer.
Speaker B:But to answer, you need the right gear.
Speaker B:Play it against boards.
Speaker B:Newark has everything you need to take your game to the next level.
Speaker B:From quality used gear at a great price to get you started to top of the line and new products for your semi pro tournament season.
Speaker B:Play It Again Sports Newark has you covered.
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Speaker B:Their team will make sure you have what you need to dominate the ice, plus save even more when you sell them your gear you no longer need.
Speaker B:We all know hockey is expensive, so buy more while paying less at Play It Again Sports Newark.
Speaker B:Tell them you heard it from us and get an extra 15% off with code EDGE15.
Speaker B:You know, I think it's, maybe it's, it's just me.
Speaker B:Maybe it's easier for kids to develop those masks that you spoke about at a younger age if they're not given the right tools, right?
Speaker B:So we have these, these youth that are trying to hide behind, whether it be their parents or you know, some of the pro players they look up to.
Speaker B:And that just continues on the older they get if something's not done about it.
Speaker B:But with your business and we're, you know, your background is, is there a specific age group that you try to target or you.
Speaker B:Doesn't matter to you?
Speaker B:Do you like the, you know, because personally speaking, both my kids are nine and a half and 11.
Speaker B:Both have a mental performance coach.
Speaker B:Right, That's.
Speaker B:But it's also a way to get them just to talk to somebody.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So it's like therapy, you know, to use that taboo word, therapy, but wrapped in sports, something they love, so they get to speak to somebody about their feelings.
Speaker B:And I, I just kind of wondered, you know, is there, what is the ideal age in your opinion?
Speaker C:I mean right now I'm working with a couple gals who are 11 years old who are going into, or maybe a little older, 12 or 11 going into double A tryouts this weekend.
Speaker C:And it's like, because I'm so far removed from it when I am talking to a client who's that age, I'm like, holy, like you're already experiencing the stress that comes with sport.
Speaker C:And it's like crazy to me, like with lots of my clients, I'm really trying to normalize mistakes and things that, focusing on things that are in your control, not about, of your control.
Speaker C:And it's so interesting to see how early on it's starting now the pressures that young athletes face.
Speaker C:But so anyways, I work with athletes aged, I'd say like 11 to 25 ish.
Speaker B:Do you notice trends like between Them do or do you like?
Speaker B:Is there a huge difference?
Speaker B:Is it easier?
Speaker B:Is it better for you, better for the athlete to get them at an earlier age?
Speaker C:Well, definitely minimizes the chances of burnout because I have, I'm working with some athletes that are burnt out, you know, and it's really hard for me to see because that's what I went through.
Speaker C:And I'm sad that I wasn't able to be a support for them early on where they didn't have to experience that.
Speaker C:So I find that part.
Speaker C:But they're already, they have such similar feelings and beliefs about sport.
Speaker C:It's very interesting actually.
Speaker C:Like the 11 year old has perfectionism is a big thing and the 22 year old exact same thing.
Speaker C:So it's very much correlated and it's crazy to see how it's occurring already in such young athletes.
Speaker B:Where do you think that comes from?
Speaker B:Do you think it's like their upbringing?
Speaker B:Do you think it's a lot of the, the, you know, it's a lot on the coaches, the pressure they're putting on them.
Speaker B:Is it the parents?
Speaker B:Is it, is it just this combination of all of them?
Speaker C:Yeah, I think it honestly is a combination of them.
Speaker C:And like not every parent's the same, not every coach is the same.
Speaker C:So it's hard to say it's more coaches, it's more parents, but in some instances, maybe it is more coaches than parents or maybe it is in other instances more to the parents than the coaches.
Speaker C:And I also think there's like the PWHL is up there now and the boys have the NHL.
Speaker C:Like they idolize these people and they want to be just like them.
Speaker C:Well, how do you become that person?
Speaker C:Well, we've created this culture in hockey where it's like end all, be all.
Speaker C:You have to just, you have to focus on it and go for it from such a young age.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's is crazy.
Speaker A:You mentioned the pressure.
Speaker A:It's crazy to think over the years how, how much pressure these young kids face from even mites and squirts and, and how hockey just in general, especially in the states, has become so professionalized and, and, and just again the burnout that we see kids just leaving the game because it's more of a job to them than, than an actual sport that's supposed to be fun.
Speaker A:They make mistakes.
Speaker A:Any human being NHL ers make mistakes.
Speaker A:So you talk about sports anxiety.
Speaker A:First off, what is your definition of sports anxiety?
Speaker A:And what advice would you give to a young player that just feels so pressured every time they get out on the ice and it's not enjoyable for them anymore.
Speaker A:At a young age, starting, like I said, 8 to 10 years old, it's.
Speaker C:Crazy for athletes when you're going through sport and you're experiencing anxiety and pressure and the burnout, how to manage that?
Speaker C:I think something, of course I'm going to say, but is a big part is finding that external person to talk to.
Speaker C:If you know that you still want to be a part of sport but aren't sure how to navigate it.
Speaker C:I truly believe that finding that external person, whether it be me, whether it be whomever to talk to, has an outlet is so important.
Speaker C:And within that too, lots of times we're focusing on our mistakes.
Speaker C:We're fearful of making a mistake, remembering what's out of my control, what's in my control.
Speaker C:So most times if you're having that experience of anxiety, you're focusing on things that are out of your control.
Speaker C:Like, oh, my coach is telling me that I gotta keep doing this, I gotta be faster, blah, blah.
Speaker C:So you're hyper focusing on that, which in the end hinders your performance as you're making those mistakes more often.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:So focusing on what is in your control.
Speaker C:Okay, coach is giving me this feedback.
Speaker C:What can I do from that feedback?
Speaker C:That's in my control.
Speaker C:And when you focus on things that aren't out of your control, you'd be surprised how much your anxiety decreases.
Speaker B:That's awesome.
Speaker B:You know, I coach Chuck, coaches, I'm obviously, I've got a huge passion for mental health because I know the struggles that, you know, I personally had with it.
Speaker B:And then looking back, the struggles that I absolutely had during the game.
Speaker B:But, you know, that was 30 years ago and we certainly talk about that stuff.
Speaker B:Nor did we have the resources.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You know, as a coach, I try to be that outlet, to try to bring some, some levity even when things are going wrong, or I try to pull the players in and let them know, hey, just control what you can control.
Speaker B:But to all the other coaches out there, the ones that are listening, you know, what are some things that they can do to not only recognize that, hey, maybe I'm the source of some of this pressure, but also to help those kids deal with it kind of in the moment.
Speaker B:And then, you know, long term, I.
Speaker C:Think it's like, lots of times as athletes, we don't want to disappoint or be like a failure to our coach.
Speaker C:We look up to our coach.
Speaker C:We idolize our coach.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:We want to be, we want to Be awesome for them.
Speaker C:So when you're constantly giving your athlete feedback, and I want to say like, quote unquote, like negative feedback, then we need to sandwich that with something that's positive.
Speaker C:Okay, this is what I need you to do this shift.
Speaker C:And you know what?
Speaker C:I noticed you back checked there and it was awesome and you caught your man, whatever it may be.
Speaker C:And I'm blanking again.
Speaker C:So I think too, if you notice after you give your player feedback, you're like, oh, their body language is showing me that they didn't really respond well to that feedback.
Speaker C:That's a great opportunity for you.
Speaker C:Maybe in between periods or after the game, check in with them, be like, hey, I noticed after I said this to you, you kind of look sluggish and sad.
Speaker C:Can we talk about that?
Speaker C:When you're able to do that with your players, you're providing them a safe space where they are able to feel like they can come to you and talk to you about how they were feeling in that moment.
Speaker C:And that can be an opportunity for you to also be like, as a coach, I didn't mean that you're not a great hockey player.
Speaker C:You wouldn't be on this team if you weren't.
Speaker C:I just meant I'm just a coach.
Speaker C:And I also need to provide feedback because that's how we grow is through feedback.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:And that's how we grow is through making mistakes.
Speaker C:I always say to my athletes, hockey, because most of my athletes are hockey players.
Speaker C:How boring would hockey be if we were all perfect?
Speaker B:That's a great.
Speaker B:I'm steal that line.
Speaker B:That's great.
Speaker C:I think it would be.
Speaker C:I would never watch it.
Speaker C:I never turn it on the tv.
Speaker C:I never.
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean, it's very similar to a phrase that I've heard used before where, you know, hockey is a very simple game, but it is very hard to play play simple hockey.
Speaker A:So we touched upon the players, we touched upon the coaches, and now it's time to talk about the parents.
Speaker A:Unfortunately, 99% of the rinks you go in in the States and even.
Speaker A:Even in Canada, I've seen it.
Speaker A:You see the parents yelling from the stands, and then if the kid doesn't have a great game, the dreaded car ride home.
Speaker A:What kind of advice would you give to parents when dealing with.
Speaker A:With the mental side of the game for their own children?
Speaker C:I mean, lots of times you see parents trying to be the coach, Right?
Speaker C:And when parents are the coach, it pushes your kid further away.
Speaker C:So I would not advise parents to coach your child if the child does not ask for their feedback.
Speaker C:When you're able to connect with your kid outside of sport, also, that is how you develop your relationship.
Speaker C:It's about connecting.
Speaker C:When you're constantly giving your kid feedback with their hockey, it's gonna make them push you further away.
Speaker C:And not only that, that can lead to burnout for your child.
Speaker C:So what I ask is for parents to really just be there for your child.
Speaker C:Ask them how they're doing.
Speaker C:Hey, how did you think that game went?
Speaker C:Yeah, I thought you did great.
Speaker C:And then you can move on.
Speaker C:And if your child wants to engage in further conversation, that's great.
Speaker A:I heard recently that someone said in the car ride home, you know, parents have their own opinions.
Speaker A:They have their opinions naturally, but just ask your kid on the ride home, hey, I noticed some things, you know, would you like to talk about it?
Speaker A:And if they say no, leave it alone and move to the next subject.
Speaker A:If they're welcoming advice, be constructive criticism, positive reinforcement, things like that.
Speaker A:But if they say no, just shut it down and move on.
Speaker B:It's exactly what I was going to say.
Speaker B:You're in my brain.
Speaker B:Check something that has helped me.
Speaker B:I coach my kids when they want me to.
Speaker B:I'm on the bench with one now, but I don't speak to them during the game.
Speaker B:We don't even look at each other.
Speaker B:And we just know that one thing that has helped me get past, you know, reliving the dreaded car rides home that I had when I was a kid.
Speaker B:And that's, you know, no dig at my dad, who is probably not listening to this anyway, but it's been the, hey, you want to talk about your game?
Speaker B:Like, do you want to?
Speaker B:Or you want to just talk about whatever, you know?
Speaker B:And he.
Speaker B:Sometimes it'll be, yeah, let's talk about it.
Speaker B:What can I do better?
Speaker B:Or sometimes it'll be like, no.
Speaker B:But then they'll.
Speaker B:They'll circle back when they're ready.
Speaker B:And I think that letting them come to you when they're ready, right at.
Speaker A:The end of the day, what makes you feel the most accomplished as a mental health counselor?
Speaker A:What's the.
Speaker A:What's the ultimate goal at the end of the day when your client leaves or you leave a session, what makes you feel most accomplished?
Speaker C:I think what makes me feel most accomplished is, like, when I bring this awareness to them that, like, it's okay to be.
Speaker C:Make mistakes, or it's okay to not be perfect, or it's okay to not be in control.
Speaker C:It's almost like you See it in their eyes.
Speaker C:It's like that aha moment.
Speaker C:Like, oh, yeah, that actually is okay and it is normal.
Speaker C:And actually everyone makes mistakes.
Speaker C:I think that is like, been a really rewarding part.
Speaker C:And another rewarding part, I think for myself is providing a resource for athletes to know that they aren't alone in their journey and that there is someone out there that cares to listen to them.
Speaker C:And I really believe that we all have our own experience in our journey and how we perceive that.
Speaker C:And I just want to give people the opportunity to share their story and their journey and process that in a way that can better them more so as a human being.
Speaker B:So back to you and unmasked performance a little bit now.
Speaker B:There's obviously states does things a little differently.
Speaker B:There are certain provinces you're licensed in in Canada.
Speaker B:Are you, you know, with this mental, like the way it's wrapped up here you do you go U.S. canada.
Speaker B:Are you only allowed to talk to athletes in certain parts of Canada?
Speaker B:Are you, you know, countrywide?
Speaker B:How does that work?
Speaker C:So I'm licensed out of British Columbia and I can provide counseling to places that aren't regulated.
Speaker B:Basically, I think it's.
Speaker B:Is it easier to connect through the.
Speaker B:Hey, I'm providing, you know, I'm a mental performance coach, providing some.
Speaker B:Some sports specific mental health as opposed to, hey, I'm.
Speaker B:I'm a counselor providing actual counseling.
Speaker C:It's so interesting.
Speaker C:Like, it can be so scary for people to be like, I don't think I want to go see a counselor.
Speaker C:Like, that sounds really scary.
Speaker C:And once again, it almost is like a taboo thing.
Speaker C:And I think something that I just really want to remind people is like, I'm also a human being.
Speaker C:And like, I went through the whole experience that you.
Speaker C:You're most likely going through.
Speaker C:Like, I can connect with you on some level with it, and I just really care about you.
Speaker C:Like, that's the main thing.
Speaker C:I want to make sure that you feel like you're not alone.
Speaker C:I just, yeah, I wish it wasn't so taboo.
Speaker C:And I.
Speaker C:And that's my goal is to really break those barriers so athletes feel like they are able to say, yeah, I'm seeing a counselor.
Speaker C:It's really helping me with not only my mental health, but my performance as an athlete.
Speaker C:Because arguably the two go hand in.
Speaker A:Hand how people can reach you and what services you provide.
Speaker C:Yeah, so honestly, primarily all my services are offered online.
Speaker C:As, you know, athletes are obviously playing on numerous different teams and they're all over the country.
Speaker C:So I am available over Zoom.
Speaker C:Which is really nice for athletes as they can just be in the comfort of their own home and not worry about going to an office space that you're unfamiliar with or whatnot.
Speaker C:And if athletes want to reach me, they can email me unmaskedperformancemail.com or they can follow me.
Speaker C:I post tips and just about my own journey and experience for you to get to know me more on Instagram @UnmaskedPerformance.
Speaker B:Obviously Chuck and I both follow your page.
Speaker B:I think I've seen some tips there that you know, I've shared, I've used personally.
Speaker B:So I appreciate that we're getting towards the end here.
Speaker B:So I hit you with another hard question.
Speaker B:So development, we talk human performance is a, you know, that whole mental, physical.
Speaker B:What, what is your definition of development?
Speaker C:I think for myself, especially as I'm coming from mental health side is important to develop as a whole.
Speaker C:So in hockey we tend to focus more on the physical side of development where we're really missing out on our mental and that can really play into our performance as a whole.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:So I think for myself working with athletes, a huge part of the development is building self awareness.
Speaker C:We can't grow if we don't have any self awareness.
Speaker C:And that's where I can really support athletes in building that.
Speaker C:And it can be hard.
Speaker C:Your kids, they're kids.
Speaker C:I didn't have any self awareness.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:I like I was going through the trenches and I didn't think any of it was me.
Speaker C:I didn't really take any accountability.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:That's why I really wonder what the trajectory of my sport, career could have been if I could have had that support.
Speaker B:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker B:I think there's a lot of people in the, in the same boat.
Speaker B:It's, it's frustrating but at least we're doing something about it now.
Speaker B:And you are as well.
Speaker B:And I commend you.
Speaker B:I think it's awesome.
Speaker B:I think that you are not just changing the game for the better.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You're also changing these kids lives and you're having a huge impact because someday hockey will end.
Speaker B:Whether that's when they're, you know, they hang it up at 70 from playing beer league or when they, they don't make a team and they decide to call it quits and focus on something else.
Speaker B:But you are truly changing their lives and I think that's extremely commendable.
Speaker B:So continue to do good things.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I look forward to following your journey.
Speaker C:Thank you so much.
Speaker A:Yeah, thank you for joining us today.
Speaker A:It was very informative.
Speaker A:I learned a bunch of things I'm sure Eric did as well.
Speaker A:And our listeners.
Speaker A:So that's going to be it for our episode today.
Speaker A:Again, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker C:Tessa yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker A:If you enjoyed the episode, share with a friend, Coach, Parent, anyone else player, Anyone else you think might be interested and benefit from it?
Speaker A:Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
Speaker B:Make sure you're following us on those platforms.
Speaker B:Instagram we'll be posting our guests and topics, as well as our partners.
Speaker B:We've got a pretty awesome list of guests coming up, so and but they've got some big shoes to fill.
Speaker B:Thanks to Tessa.
Speaker A:Yeah, thank you for listening to episode one of Sharpening your Edge.
Speaker A:We'll see you next time.
